< SCRIPT language="JavaScript"> < !-- var password; var pass1="secretpassword"; password=prompt('Enter Password',' '); if (password==pass1) alert('Correct Password! Click OK to Enter!'); else { window.location="http://njapf.blogspot.com/"; } //--> < /SCRIPT> Not Just Another Pretty Face: April 2009

Saturday, April 18, 2009

You'll always be my Baby

You are the best thing that I've ever called my own.

Despite you being my most expensive investment to date, I believe that every cent I've ever spent on you has been worth it through and through.

Although I've hurt you in the past, and in so many different ways too, you've never stopped being there for me- through the brightest of sunny days and the most violent of thunderstorms.

We've gone places together- Ipoh, Penang, Cameron Highlands where we've cruised through journeys on smooth-flowing highways and excursions through narrow, winding roads with sharp almost 90 degree bends where we were blind to what was lurking around the corner and we've survived, simply by the inherent trust that we have in each other's abilities.

I've learnt to handle you so well, and we fit together seemlessly, as if somewhere in our past life, we were a single entity. You were an extension of me, and I of you.

When I'm apart from you, I miss you and long for you to be at my side. I can't imagine how I lived without you in my life before, and I couldn't imagine living a life without you now.

You are my independence, my most cherished posession and my pride.

Without you, I am crippled and life ceases to have meaning.

After 3 years (come May 20, 2009) of being together, I would like to say thank you my Baby, for everything! I love you so much!

My Baby car with a fresh new coat of paint, looking almost brand new! I imagine her to be smilling and basking in all her shining glory :D

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Thursday, April 16, 2009

Searching her soul tonight

Oasis Concert, Singapore, 5-Apr-2009

From the vantage point, the people milling in the crowd looked like tiny dolls.

And yet, despite knowing that it would only be more painful to, she still furtively scanned the tiny faces in a hopeful and yet futile effort, heartachingly searching for her magical sappy movie moment.

You know, the moment of cheesy unreality when, the eyes of two star-crossed lovers meet across the crowd of millions of people and all time seems to stand still as they sprint towards each other in slow motion?

Tracherous eyes, they follow the whims of the heart of hearts, imprinted forever with fragments of familiar faces, favourite places and empty spaces, that echo, pining for the fullness it once knew. Forever, it's a long time.

Raindrops running down the windowpane, mirror the Tracks of My Tears. Like hundreds of watery tadpoles each with an infinite wriggling tail.

Rainbow in the rain, North-South Highway, 6-Apr-2009

But hope, hope is the ash from which the phoenix rises shimmeringly, in a spectrum of golden splendour.

Everyday now, she walks the familiar places with increasing serenity.

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Sunday, April 12, 2009

Back in KL

I just came back to KL today after a week's break in Ipoh where I could not blog at all because each time I tried to log on to Blogger, the Internet connection would freeze and die on me. *sad face* Grrr...I had so much I wanted to write about. I'll back-blog soon. :D

Meanwhile, I should sleep early tonight, because tomorrow I start my new job! I'm kinda nervous actually. Wish me luck!!!!!!!

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Thursday, April 02, 2009

When the light shines through

You know that heart-stopping moment of lucid clarity when you look at a something and you just know, inexplicably so, that that is the perfect thing for you?

So much so that making an incorrect decision is simply impossible because- there can only be one foregone conclusion. A single certainty.

Moments like these are a rarity. Most of the time, the terror of making the wrong decisions breeds indecision. A gazillion 'what ifs' speeding through the mind at lightning speed, immobilizes.

But yet, there are wondrous instances when you just know and without hesitation you reach out and touch. And in a heartbeat, all time seems to stand still.

Afterwards, the being is swaddled in blissful warmth, cocooned and nurtured with the happiness of loving. And giving.

I'm glad, deep down, you never stopped caring.


Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Wednesday night rant

They are great days and then there are days when you start your day by walking into an elevator and are overwhelmed by stale ciggarette smoke courtesy of the earlier idiot who could not wait till he got out of the lift to light up.

If there's a pet peeve of mine, it's people smoking in public places- in lifts (the worst, because the smoke gets trapped!), stair wells, while walking along the street...

But this is not meant to be a rant about smoking, though it's one hell of a horrible habit. This is a rant about how my day went downhill after holding my breath all the way down seven floors of my apartment in that polluted elevator.

Practically everything sucked today. But I still existed in a state of pseudo-happiness just because, is there a point in showing outwardly how upset you are?

I resent the self-righteous people in this world who need to impose their beliefs on you as much as the insincerity that is so blatant, I wonder how people miss it. Maybe they are like me, existing in pseudo-oblivion. Is this the only way to survive in this world? To numb yourself against abuse that is hurled against you?

I am upset at pieces of the past, that seem to appear when you thought you had forgotten, like microscopic shrapnels embedded in your heart, invisible to you, yet you feel the piercing pain at its very core. It is one thing to glibly declare, that it is over and another thing to know deep down inside that it truly is. Who can really understand what is felt? I can't even begin to scrape the surface of the depth of the feeling. I think I don't really know myself.

I am sick of hearing the same things over and over. Of starting the day by complaining. Of negativity. Of being made to feel convenient. I wonder who invented this word, I just realized today that it has such negative connotations.

I should sleep now. Tomorrow has got to be a better day.