Wednesday night rant
They are great days and then there are days when you start your day by walking into an elevator and are overwhelmed by stale ciggarette smoke courtesy of the earlier idiot who could not wait till he got out of the lift to light up.If there's a pet peeve of mine, it's people smoking in public places- in lifts (the worst, because the smoke gets trapped!), stair wells, while walking along the street...
But this is not meant to be a rant about smoking, though it's one hell of a horrible habit. This is a rant about how my day went downhill after holding my breath all the way down seven floors of my apartment in that polluted elevator.
Practically everything sucked today. But I still existed in a state of pseudo-happiness just because, is there a point in showing outwardly how upset you are?
I resent the self-righteous people in this world who need to impose their beliefs on you as much as the insincerity that is so blatant, I wonder how people miss it. Maybe they are like me, existing in pseudo-oblivion. Is this the only way to survive in this world? To numb yourself against abuse that is hurled against you?
I am upset at pieces of the past, that seem to appear when you thought you had forgotten, like microscopic shrapnels embedded in your heart, invisible to you, yet you feel the piercing pain at its very core. It is one thing to glibly declare, that it is over and another thing to know deep down inside that it truly is. Who can really understand what is felt? I can't even begin to scrape the surface of the depth of the feeling. I think I don't really know myself.
I am sick of hearing the same things over and over. Of starting the day by complaining. Of negativity. Of being made to feel convenient. I wonder who invented this word, I just realized today that it has such negative connotations.
I should sleep now. Tomorrow has got to be a better day.
Labels: Me myself and I
posted by N.J.A.P.F. @ 11:10 PM
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