< SCRIPT language="JavaScript"> < !-- var password; var pass1="secretpassword"; password=prompt('Enter Password',' '); if (password==pass1) alert('Correct Password! Click OK to Enter!'); else { window.location="http://njapf.blogspot.com/"; } //--> < /SCRIPT> Not Just Another Pretty Face: April 2005

Friday, April 08, 2005

Beige Oakley Caps

Everytime I see a guy wearing a cap, of off-white colour, my heart skips a beat. And the thought "Could that be him?" runs through my silly head. Silly, silly, silly. Dosen't even need to be Oakley, the mere sight of a cap gets me thinking about him. Still does.

But I think I've resignedly accepted the fact that him and I are going to be "just friends" and nothing more uncomfortable than that.

I guess I'm the sort of person who likes very hard, and it takes me some time of mulling it over to finally think it through and sort it out, to move on. But I know that I'm strong enough to move on, one of the thoughest tests of my emotional strength was in Glasgow, but I got through that, after a lot of soul-searching and anguish, with support from good friends. So it's a period of my life that I can look back on and tell myself that nothing can be harder than that. Nothing can dissapoint me and hurt me harder than not getting the results I wanted, something I craved more than anything else.

Perhaps that's why I'm not afraid to try and show him that I like him. I feel I've bared my soul for him to hurt enough. It's his move now, the ball is in HIS court .

What is it about him that is holding back? Is it a 100,000 other things that guys think about that I as a girl will never understand?! I know I'm over analyzing the situation and he's probably fast asleep now snugly tucked into his comfortable bed in an air-conditioned room, but I just can't help doing it! It's just second nature to me, perhaps because I'm female.

To analyze and think over and over...especially when it's someone who can make me feel like this: so comfortable and myself around him. I don't have to pretend to be sophisticated, to be someone who enjoys clubbing and "hip" activities like that, or someone who's pretentious. I can just be me, myself and I and happily at that.