Living it up a little more everyday
Sinful Chocolate Ice Cream Cake@ Lookout Point, KL
Today marks the start of the last year I can truthfully call myself a twenty-something.
This is the penultimate year before I turn the big 3-0, which is supposed to be a significant milestones of earth-shattering magnitude, or at least, many people seem to think so.
I can't help but wonder why though, because turning thirty, is no different from turning twenty or twenty-five or twenty-eight is it? So why is there so much expectation placed on turning thirty? Isn't it just another candle on the birthday cake? But, I'm not quite thirty yet. Perhaps I will continue this train of thought the same time, next year.
Tonight though, as I gently tread on the threshold of twenty-nine, I sit and reflect and take stock of the past almost three decades of being me and I find it a tad unexpected how happy and at peace with myself I feel. I look back at my younger self not with a feeling of regret, or wisfulness of youth that has passed me by but instead, with a feeling of quiet self-assurance of how far I've come and an innate clarity of what I want out of life.
Perhaps some may find it a little strange, because If you were to view my life in tangible terms, I have nothing to show for it- I have no hot rich boyfriend/ husband to call my own or spoil me rotten, I don't have a trendy little studio apartment in my name, I'm driving the same car that I've driven for the past 5 years and I am no where near the pinnacle of success carreer-wise although I earn comfortably enough to be independent.
But yet, I am happier and more positive than I've ever been in my life and I actually feel blessed, perhaps because it's dawned on me that its the impalpable that can never be stolen from you. I've suddenly learnt to take most things in stride and unfazedly strive to change the things I can and truly accept the things that I have no control over. Oh and, at the same time not forgeting to, live, breath and appreciate life in itself and how good it has been to me- by giving me a great family and wonderful friends that I can always count on to be there for me.
If there is any tiny drop of regret that I have, it would be that I wished I could tell my younger self what I know now, to spare myself some of the costly mistakes, heartache and tears.
But then again, if I hadn't gone through what I did, I probably wouldn't be the person I am today.
So, on this note, I start the year with much positivity and hope and a reminder to myself to continue to love, laugh, learn..and most importantly, live.
Labels: Me, myself and I
posted by N.J.A.P.F. @ 11:53 PM
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